Hypnosis for Assholes

So, you keep fucking up. You say the wrong thing at the wrong time. You care, but you get defensive, and somehow every apology turns into a TED Talk about your intentions. Same.

This isn’t some “live laugh love” nonsense. It’s for the people who want to stop spiritualizing or intellectualizing their bad habits. The ones who know they’re self-aware but keep catching themselves being jerks in real time. I’m not here to judge you. I’m here with you—in the real life mess, in the shame, in the moments where you realize you were the asshole again.

I’ve been called cold. Detached. “Too much.” The Aquarius friend you can only handle in doses. Just this week I pissed so many people off on TIKTOK, I had to turn off my comments. I’m the one people ask for an honest opinion and then get mad when I give it. Whatever. It takes one to know one and I know an asshole when I see one. The thing is, we care dammit! Probably more than we should. And most of the time, we are just sick and tired of masking and when that mask slips—oops we did it again.

So here’s what we’re doing: we’re using hypnosis to get under the bullshit. To make peace with the part of you that lashes out, checks out, or doubles down when you know you’re in the wrong. You’ll laugh at yourself while actually rewiring patterns.

Healing doesn’t have to be punishment. We can leave that to the catholics. You’re human, but stop acting brand new. You cant keep doing this. It’s time to put your big boy panties on and get your act together.

Take a deep breath. Blow it out like you’re clearing the air after a cat fart. Good. Now keep breathing until it starts to smell like a cookie or something. But don’t get too excited because we know you get bingy.

Welcome to Hypnosis for Assholes. You’re in good company. So how do you experience these shenanigans? I will record monthly tracks that will be in the podcast section of my Substack and if you’re getting these emails, you’re already subscribed to the articles. All you have to do is tap on the section titled as such.

PS. Substack works like a mini website but if it gets too challenging for the technologically impaired, I will upload to my main website.

Hugs and pinches-

Jessie